


Respira

by humanlikeyou



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV), Thirteen Reasons Why - Jay Asher
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 09:48:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11010948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/humanlikeyou/pseuds/humanlikeyou
Summary: Justin has run away, and knows only one person he can ask to stay with. He's surprised, however, to get a call from Alex himself.-or-Alex doesn't go through with 'it,' and calls Justin.





	Respira

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all... I just whipped this up instead of sleeping.  
> It's un-beta'd and slightly sleep-deranged. But I hope you like it anyway.

The pebble that Justin kicked down the sidewalk as he strolled down it only cast the occasional shadow against the pavement because the streetlights were few and far between in this part of town. Justin didn’t mind. He liked being enveloped in the dark. It was like closing his eyes to give himself enough room to breathe.

Just breathe.

The bag that hung on his shoulder was a bit heavier this evening. In his rush to get out of the apartment he begrudgingly called ‘home,’ he had packed a little too much. But maybe for the better. Maybe even… for good. And he only knew one place he could possibly take it.

Not Bryce’s. Definitely not. Never again.

But Standall’s…

Alex had gotten closer to him unexpectedly. Oddly. Justin had spent the night at his house a few times in the past couple of weeks. For Justin, it started out as a necessity – needing some place to stay as Seth commandeered his apartment once again, and as his mom stood in the sidelines. But as the investigation into Hannah’s death escalated, he found that he was able to sleep a little better while around Alex.

It brought a smile to Justin’s face, just the thought of seeing Alex again, and hopefully being able to stay the night once again. Maybe a little longer if Alex’d let him. There was something about glancing at those soft blue eyes that eased the tension in his shoulders.

The sentiment was sent straight back to the depths of his mind with a purposeful shake of his head. _Not too attached, Foley._ As much as Standall had become a confidant to him, Justin didn’t know if he reciprocated the impression. And all at once, he was sent down a spiral of fisted pockets and knotted eyebrows. Justin quickened his pace, nearing his destination. 

_Buzz._

**_Justin._ **

And just like that, as quickly as it was buried, it resurfaced.

**_Yeah?_ **

_Ring._ Justin picked up the call.

“What’s up, Standall?” he asked with a rehearsed nonchalance. The phone was silent for a while, and Justin waited with a sudden patience that he had never practiced.

“Justin,” the boy mumbled.

“Alex?” he replied, worried now.

“Can you stay the night?” The question just about tapered off with a quiver in Alex’ voice.

“I’m a block away,” Justin said, speeding up to a slow jog in order to get to Alex’ house quicker. Something was very wrong.

“The door’s unlocked,” Alex hiccupped. “Could you just…-?”

“I’m almost there, Alex,” he assured. “Can you stay on the line?” He heard a mere mumble on the other end before he hastened and reached the front door. “I’m here, hold on.”

Justin twisted the doorknob, careful to not wake up the household, and entered the house with a light step. It didn’t take long for Justin to stride right to Alex’s room, the door of which he opened with the same amount of care.

As he peeked inside he saw Alex sitting on his bed against the wall with his knees drawn up to his chest. The boy looked up as the door opened further, and Justin could see the streaks of tears running down his cheeks and the redness in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Alex said softly, dropping his phone onto the bed. He bore his fingers to the side of his head and scratched at the spot.

Justin dropped his bag on the floor, and closed the door to Alex’ bedroom, pocketing his own phone. His heart fell at the sight of Alex and he didn’t know what to do. All he wanted to do was to reach out to him, to touch him somehow, but he didn’t know where he stood with Alex. And so he closed the space between them, taking a seat on the side of the bed, just in front of Alex.

“For what?” He asked quietly.

Alex shook his head a little. More silence. It was deafening now that they were face to face. But Justin waited.

As he looked around the room, he noticed that it had been tidied up. Clothes weren’t strewn on the backs of chairs and on bedposts anymore, every paper and note was filed accordingly. 

“I didn’t know who else to call.”

And with that, Justin reached out. He placed a hand on Alex’ knee which brought out the softest whimper from the boy. It pierced right through Justin’s chest.

“Alex… what’s wrong?" 

The boy shook his head a little more fervently, but he was weak. Tired. Justin gently rubbed Alex’ knee, the warmth of his palm seeping through the worn denim.

“Please?”

Alex glanced at Justin once, taking a look at the genuine pleading in his eyes before taking a shaky breath and pointing to his desk across his room. 

Justin hadn’t realized when he’d skimmed over the files the first time, but it was staring him right in the face now. There, smack in the middle of that perfectly organized hardwood plain was a small, semi-automatic pistol. His grip on Alex’ knee tightened as his heart fell to his stomach, and the corners of his eyes immediately pooled with tears. He whipped his head back to look at Alex only to find it masked behind a tangle of arms.

Alex tried to control his occasional sobs to no avail, his only triumph being the muffled sound it made against the cloth of his shirt.

“I tried to do it,” Alex said in between gasps through his tears, “but I couldn’t go through with it.”

Justin closed the distance and quickly wrapped his arms around the boy. Alex grabbed at the cloth of Justin’s hoodie and dug his face into Justin’s chest.

All at once, Justin wracked different parts of his brain to figure out the best thing to say to Alex at this moment. Wonderful Alex, who just tried his best, but hung out with the wrong crowd a bit too long and did the wrong thing a couple of times. Kind Alex, who wore the guilt of Hannah’s death on his sleeve. Broken Alex… who almost drank the poison ‘til the last drop.

….

His Alex.

There was that feeling again. That odd connection. The tug of the string on his heart that he felt might be tied to Alex’ as well.

If Justin had said something… to Hannah… just _anything_ , then maybe…

“We’re just kids, you know?” he started. Alex remained silent through his ragged breaths. “And shit’s pretty fucking heavy right now… but you’ll get through it, alright?”

It wasn’t coming out quite right, but Justin held his tears at bay and pushed through.

“Listen. I don’t…” he sighed, trying to find more words. _Anything_. “I don’t know what you’re thinking, or exactly how you’re feeling… and I’m not gonna pretend I have some wise shit to tell ya, or that ‘it gets better’ bullshit.” He pulled away slightly, and waited with his newfound patience, which he decided was reserved only for Alex, for the broken boy to look up at him. Into his own blue eyes. “I’m here. Okay? I’m here for you, Alex. And if it makes any difference at all… I care about you.”

A few more tears fell from Alex’ eyes, and they hadn’t slowed down, but Alex’ heart did seem to lift an inch. It was better. Justin reached up carefully to wipe the tracks of water from Alex’ cheeks, and brought his head back to his tear-soaked chest. Justin hoped, so much, that this was enough. Enough to keep Alex Standall alive.

“Just keep breathing, okay Alex? _Just breathe_.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please review! Reviews are smiles and forehead kisses :D


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